


Oblivious

by highlytrainedfangirl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Pining, but not really, pre-serum steve, set before ca:tfa, steve is jealous of himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 10:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8245307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highlytrainedfangirl/pseuds/highlytrainedfangirl
Summary: Bucky is always talking about a girl he's in love with and Steve is too oblivious to realise that Bucky's talking about him





	1. Chapter 1

**Steve**

It was always the same. Bucky would go out almost every night to God-knows-where and come home long after Steve collapsed onto his mattress. Whenever Bucky was around Steve, he was always gushing about this one girl. Steve wasn't sure when it had started, but one night Bucky had just started spilling all of his feelings, almost as if he couldn't stop himself. Now, it was normal for Steve to sit through everything, forced smile on his face.  
He knew he was close to breaking point. It was heartbreaking to watch the man he loved completely smitten over some dame. It was obvious from the way Bucky spoke to the blissful look in his eyes, Bucky was head-over-heels in love.

 

“She's incredible Stevie, I tell you. So beautiful, but don't even realise it.”  
He ‘hmm’d in response.  
“Really, she's perfect.”  
“Must be for you to love her, number a dates you wen’ on before.” _Good job Rogers, remind yourself of all those dates he went on without you._ Honestly, it had been better before; at least Steve could take comfort in the fact that none of the dates went well, cruel as that may be.  
“She who you've been goin’ out with all week?”  
At this Bucky dipped his head, Steve could see a sad smile grace his friend's lips, “nah, she'd never like me back.”  
This was new. Bucky had used his powers of charm to pull anyone he wanted. He could have every dame in a building falling at his feet. Who would be so good that _Bucky_ felt insecure?  
“How d’you know? Maybe you just gotta ask her. Sure she'd say yes Buck, everyone loves you.”  
“This case ain't the same.” A short, bitter laugh followed. Bucky fiddled nervously with the edge of the table. No matter what Steve said after that point Bucky refused to talk about her more.

 

Steve knew that it was stupid to feel jealous of someone he'd never met, he just couldn't help it. He'd loved Bucky since God-knows-when. He'd always been by Bucky’s side, always it had been the two of them. Who was able to suddenly swoop into Bucky's life and throw everything off?

 

“You know she’s got the most beautiful eyes. Such a deep, perfect shade of blue. God, Stevie, you're the artist not me, but if I could describe those eyes… They're gorgeous, I could spend forever gettin’ lost in ‘em. ‘Cept I can’t cause she'd notice me starin’ if I did.”  
His sigh was the only other noise in the confined apartment.  
“Would that be so bad?”  
“Told you Stevie, she'd never like me back.”

 

“Y’know it's not just her looks.”  
At this Steve looked up from his plate.  
“I know I talk about ‘em a lot, and she really is a beauty, but most I love her personality. She's always so kind and carin’, always thinkin’ a the little guy, y’know.”  
“She sounds real perfect,” Steve mumbled only half paying attention.  
“Yeah...” Bucky sighed contentedly.

 

Steve couldn't take it anymore. Every night he was listening to Bucky's love-stricken speeches about the mysterious dame. He knew that sooner or later Bucky would work out why he acted the way he did. The jealousy must be painted across his features, loud and clear. But Bucky was so deep lost while thinking about his girl that he didn't even notice the way Steve winced at the mention of her.  
Steve just wished that Bucky would talk about him that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, more is on the way


	2. Chapter 2

**Bucky**

He didn't mean to, it just happened one day. He was so lost thinking about Steve that it just sort of slipped out, “so perfect.”  
“What?” Steve looked up from his sketch pad. “What is?”  
He panicked, “I, uh, I met this dame. She's so perfect.”  
Idiot. There was now way Steve was going to let this drop now. Why couldn't he just have made up something about the weather? A roll of thunder outside the window made him slightly grateful that he hadn't said that.  
“So what's her name?” The voice from the other side of the room was soft.  
Dammit. _Just say something, anything, make it up,_ “it, uh… it doesn't matter. She's not interested anyway. Sorry I was just thinkin’ out loud.”  
When he looked up Steve's head had returned to his sketch pad, charcoal stick scribbling furiously.

 

He swore that would be it, that would be the only time. Except he couldn't help it, he couldn't resist being able to talk about his feelings. He loved Steve so much and it was driving him insane keep it all locked inside.  
“She's so great.”  
“Who is?”  
“The dame I was tellin’ you about the other day. She's perfect.”  
He didn't hear Steve respond, but he couldn't stop himself from plowing forwards into a description of all the things he loved about him. Everything from his looks to the way he talked. It was freeing, being able to finally talk about the feels he'd kept buried deep for years. He did have to be mindful of pronouns, several times coming very close to saying ‘he’. Thankfully, by the time he was done, Steve seemed to have stopped listening. Bucky couldn't blame him, he'd been talking for an age.

 

It became a regular thing, whenever he thought he could get away with it. It was addictive, being able to spill his feelings without Steve knowing. He was getting even more obvious, once he started talking about how she was a wonderful artist he was sure he'd be caught. But Steve didn't seem to work it out. Bucky wasn't sure if that was good or bad, how would Steve react if he realised the one Bucky was in love with was him? It could ruin their friendship, but Bucky allowed himself to dream that maybe his feelings would be returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is coming soon


	3. Chapter 3

“Why do you always go on about her?!” Bucky halted mid-speech. Steve hadn't meant to yell.  
“Huh?”  
“That damn dame. She's all you've spoken about for a month now! No matter what we're talkin’ about, you always make it about her!” Once Steve started he couldn't stop, it had been making him increasingly frustrated for weeks.  
“I-I'm sorry pal, I didn't realise it was bothein’ you- ”  
“Of course you didn’t, you only cared about her!”  
Silence hung thick between them, neither sure what to say next. Steve knew he was precariously close to spilling all of his feelings, but he didn't care, he was wound up too tight and his anger was close to finally springing free.   
Bucky tactlessly tried to lighten the awkward atmosphere, “c’mon Stevie, you're startin’ to sound jealous.”  
A mumbled reply of, “so what if I am?” escaped Steve's lips before he could prevent it. His eyes were fixed to a spot on the floor between them. Bucky sat confused for a moment, quietly asking, “why would you be jealous of a girl Steve? You never cared about dates in the past.”  
Steve floundered for words. Bucky was clever, he'd work it out if Steve didn't say something. His eyes burned a hole into the wooden panels of the floor and he refused to even blink. Bucky was shifting in the armchair across the room, he could hear it.

As soon as the pieces fell into place, Bucky began walking towards the other man who was sitting in a wooden chair by the window. Steve wouldn't look at him, so he crouched in the floor before the other man.  
“They really are perfect,” he said quietly.  
Steve let out an incredulous, humourless laugh, “I know you keep remindin’ me.”  
Bucky went on to list everything he could remember telling Steve about ‘her’.  
“So beautiful, with sandy blond hair,” he reached up and ruffled Steve's hair, “gorgeous blue eyes” he leant closer as his voice dropped to a whisper.  
He reached out and grasped two hands in his, one still clutching a pencil, “an incredible artist. Always sticking up for other’s, always kind and gentle and perfect.” He used one finger to tilt Steve's face upwards, away from where he was staring at their joined hands, “and doesn't see any of it, even though I always tell ‘em.”

Steve's voice caught in his throat. He couldn't breathe properly. Bucky wasn't saying what he though he was saying, he couldn't be. But as a single finger lifted his head, he saw a warm smile and hopeful eyes staring back at him. All those weeks, buck had been talking about…him? He remembered the way Bucky eyes lit up talking about him, the far-away, dazed look he got. Steve was the one who caused that? A flutter of joy twisted inside his stomach.  
Without thinking twice, Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky neck and pulled him in for a kiss. It was clumsy and their awkward angle didn't help, but it still ended far too soon for either’s liking.  
Steve felt like nothing could ever shatter his happiness, until he remembered that for the past four weeks that he'd been jealously sulking over himself. An embarrassed flush painted its way across his cheeks and down his neck.

“Hey buck, I'm sorry for yellin’,” the smaller man mumbled into Bucky's neck.  
“It's fine. I'm sorry for goin’ on all the time. Guess I didn't think you’d care, never thought you'd actually feel the same.”  
The quiet space was filled with nothing but the sounds of soft breathing for a few seconds before Steve spoke up again, “did you mean it? All of the stuff you said about me?”   
Steve remembered how lovingly Bucky would gush about anything and everything about his mystery love.  
“Yeah, I did. Every last word. I love you, Stevie.”  
“I love you too, Buck.”


End file.
